I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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