problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
