Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
