R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
