Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie