thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence