And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé