I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
