Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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