u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
