i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
