We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
