She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
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If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
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why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize