i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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