So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
