And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize