obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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