I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
