Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
