I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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