u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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