So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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