I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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