my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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