omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
