i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
