Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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