just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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