Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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