He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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