On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Less talking, more tequila
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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