Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
