My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
