i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
