I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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