Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
