I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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