you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
