ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
then he tried to convert me to islam
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
