Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
