Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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