If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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