its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
