weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
how drunk are you?
Several
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
