i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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