there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
