so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
