my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
