Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
