Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize