1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ugly people sure do ruin things
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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