if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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