some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
