It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You left your phone here
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