Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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