He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
where are my eyebrows?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
