Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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