I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
