why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
