do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
