I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
