hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Quick, to the slutcave!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
